Most people will agree that explaining death and funerals to young children can be very difficult. This is especially the case with the death of a close loved one. Issues of cremation can be difficult for the child to understand especially when they think that it involves burning. It is important to be tactful when talking to a child about cremation. The age of the child will determine how easy it will be for the child to understand. Whatever you do, remember that it is always better to talk to the child than to leave him or her wondering what happened. The following tips will come in handy.
The child’s stage of development
When explain about death and cremation, use words that are appropriate for the child’s age or stage of development. Make the child understand the situation using the simplest language and remember that if the child does not understand it will lead to doubts and more questions. Try to ensure that the child does not get distressed. It might help to explain that the body is not actually burnt by the fire but rather high temperatures cause the body to turn into soft, fine particles.
Remain calm when discussing the issue
It is important to try to remain as calm and comfortable as possible when talking to the child. Remain composed and remember that children are very good at picking up on emotions. If the child gets the impression that you think cremation is scary, then that will be the reality that he or she embraces. Remember that any child that is old enough to love is also old enough to feel grief. If you are not comfortable discussing the issue, get someone you trust to talk to the child.
Answer questions honestly
When sharing cremation information with your child, you can expect some questions. It is important to be honest when answering these questions. The child may even want to see the cremated remains and you need to decide how to handle this. Showing the child the cremation urn may offer some comfort especially if you have chosen a beautiful urn for the occasion. Talking to the child about the cremation process can help him or her to heal but you should only give the information that the child asks.
Avoid using complicated language
Using words and language that is complicated will only serve to confuse the child. Remember that the child is also grieving and you should not make the explanations scary. Use simple language that the child will understand and remember that each child is different. Follow the child’s lead when explaining the details and remember that some children are more curious than others and others may be more scared. Pay attention to the child’s behavior as you talk and avoid using words like ‘fire’ and ‘burned’.
It is important to explain to the child that the cremation process does not hurt the deceased in any way. You can describe a simple cremation in Wallingford, CT to your child and explain that the body does not feel pain. Avoid giving too much information to young children and remember that your beliefs about what happens after death will determine how comforted the child will be. Explaining that the loved one has gone to a happier place will help the child accept the loss better.